“It’s a tangle, and it’s not going to untangle anytime soon. As was said yesterday by a sage person, there is always some bitter, along with the sweet, as we remember deeply, the ones we’ve loved. It’s how we work within the mess of life, that counts. And I hold the utmost respect, for everyone who struggles. But likely our kindnesses will be selected, and featured if any legacy is to be carried forward. Our patience will never pin us down, or plague the futures of those we feel responsible to. Here in the garden, its always a fresh outlook & sense of the absurd, that continues to invigorate. Why is that plant flopping, when I so carefully staked it?Where are the blooms I nurtured, while wilt, decay & disappointment seem to have carried the day? Ah, it was not what I thought it would be. I, am not, who I thought, I was. Looking straight into the night sky, why are the stars, dancing just outside my frame? Why must I endure this passion, that draws my most rapt attention, dedicated to elude me? These people, in my life, they continue to enter, and exit. The harder I try to crack their code, invite their confidences, these are the ones who consistently bar the gate. What does this mean? Have I been attempting to grow a Zone 5 shrub, in a Zone 4 climate? Or is it merely my moon in Leo? Oh, but I remember before this whole complicated tangle, felt like a tangle. It felt like moonlight on a softly undulating hayfield, in the cooling of the dimming of the day. A time in which the most honest revelation of fact was met with appreciation, and mutual curiosity. It was like riding shotgun, towards a celebration of union, in an old, beat up Ford, fixed up with spit shine, and polish. And the idea of keeping secrets, was about caring enough, to protect someone’s hurt, and not about hiding their transgressions. I pass by the road that led up to that old parsonage, just about every other day. No one cares, really, besides one old friend of his, who left town. To say that I loved him “as much as the moon” isn’t quite right. We found a tiny, lost kitten in a parking lot in the pouring down rain once, and brought it home. We both knew it was the right thing to do. The laughter between us, didn’t even stand out because it was our default. So when I build a garden, and I do this a lot, I remember the sweet taste, of kindness. Some hide it, cagey, because they don’t want to show their cards. A lifetime of that, see where it gets you. For my money, I’ll take any job, where i think there’s a glimmer of something giving way, to extreme kindness. And that that might be the code, the map, and the key, to every possible enemy on this dark path of life.”
