“The most thrilling thing in my life right now, is having to leave the house before 7 am, and drive through some very rural parts of Vermont. And within that framework,, the most thrilling single event during those drives, would be passing the school bus on its way to pick up children, in near darkness, on a road so frost-heaved, it would throw you through you roof, if you’re not paying attention. Note to self: it’s good to switch up the schedule, when you can. And look at your surroundings, through an alternate lens. If you’re feeling at all stressed out by life, or depressed, or worse, then you might be a candidate for being moved to tears, by the early morning light, as it selectively lights up the hills. Ditto if you’re feeling jaded, by your inexplicable inability to be stirred in your heart, or maybe baffled by a disconnection between what used to raise passionate response, as opposed to what now, is barely recognizable as “real”, come hither. It’s time to reclaim the most basic human reflexes, and recover them, and revive them, to full capacity. So, why the reaction to a school bus traveling along a river, dwarfed by luminous mountains, and perhaps a child standing alone, at the roadside, of a trailer, or sugaring operation, deep in the woods? How far we’ve been twisted from our normal, like frogs in the proverbial pot of boiling water. We can almost no longer remember, the sweetness, of an innocent daily existence. Our heads, are spinning, no matter how we try to quell the storm, or distract ourselves with props, diversions, and entertainments. And this discomfort, should be followed, until it is relieved. Because I do believe, we still have the power to overpower, what is ailing us. I am pushing, and pushing, to create my own pathways, and not adopt every single thing that is dangled in front of me, digitally. And ditto, like a bird dog, I will follow my nose, and crack the codes of my intuitive hunches, as many failures as it takes before I can find something I truly believe in, and trust. I won’t look away. Or obey every “No Trespassing”, “No Outlet”, “Closed Road”, or gated byway. Our communities were never designed to be so compartmentalized, that a single ideology with more financing or privilege, could wrest control of vast regions of land. And don’t get me started on surveillance cameras. My recent foray onto state lands, and a nearby private camp which seemingly remains open to those exploring the back country, did not go unrewarded. Our arrival, to a final pull-off, and metal gate, had almost been overlooked - by bad weather, and trepidation, that we would have no way to turn around. As our ears were soaked in the rushing fill of melting mountain snows, our eyes began to feast on the leafless expanse of several converging mountains. These vistas won’t be visible, for much longer. And gaining orientation in behind-the-scenes Vermont, is like being given special insight into a relationship you want, above all others. I had done my map study, which is why we’d been able to penetrate further, into areas normally left to snow machines, or expert skiers, who only come, obviously, at peak snow depth. What we found after some difficult climbing, was a forest road that seemed more robust than it should be. Perhaps heading towards a gap, a junction, or a golden highway. I’ll come back here, soon. And apply more muscle to the heavy lifting, of releasing civilizations stranglehold on what I think I can be. And surely, walking higher into the least traveled, most elevated terrain available to me, I’ll let go of some of my despair. Hopefully the better part of it, as I move more lightly, and silently, into the weave of the wild.”
