“It was a sudden storm, but as storms often do, it seemed to explain why the day had gone so wrong, so sideways, even before the outburst. I don’t do well, being anyone’s target. Never did, but life can be a theme park of make believe, where others decide who you are and punish you for it. The world should be large enough, you would think. Used to be, holing up on a dirt road might save you some. But like the pundit said “wherever you go, there you are”. I went to town, to get a few supplies, trying shake it all out of my hair. Pulling into and out of Shaw’s parking lot was a fiasco. No one could see thru their windshields, when the rain came pounding down. I waited, let everyone else maneuver, then backed out onto the roadway, put the truck in gear, and gassed it forward, heading for the hills. Why, oh, why, i opined, to myself. I was thankful for the obscuring weather. Wallowing is not just for pigs. I would milk this set of bad luck, not for the first time. For I’d learned that just beyond wallowing, is grace. And it would be purely my choice, as to when the one ended, and the other began. “Take your time”, said the cold beverage, in my cup holder as I turned right, onto the least traveled road I could find. I wanted to drive, and not stop, ever. As the Chevy made its way, as if blind-folded, across an old, rusted bridge, my mind was already wandering to its default list of offenses committed by others. The feeling of being pushed back into my seat, pinned against the steepness of the road, urged me to accelerate, then slow, as I rounded the bend, approaching a collapsing farm building. I wanted to dump myself out, and sit by the wreckage, while the rain soaked me thru. It was my wreckage, but clearly, not. A new, fancy vehicle sat in the yard. I wouldn’t be welcome, and so, I drove on. I passed two lumber company trailers, and a pull-off, for a “wilderness area”, that didn’t quite compute. You know, I thought to myself, you are shit out of luck. There is nowhere to go a camera won’t be on your ass, even out here. I love my country, but I do not love some things gone down, within the short span of my lifetime. But I digress. The point of writing anything today, contains both grief and hope. I want to say out loud, that finding someone on the internet, was the last thing on my mind. Dating apps - pshaw - useless & humiliating - be damned. I found an amazing person, all on my own. Not to harvest, like a grifter, but to acknowledge, for all he’s been thru. A bee-keeper, faithful husband, rock & roller, and questioner, matching my own thirst for answers. The dialog will continue. Thank you, Vashon Island.”
